S1:E10 | Chinese Medicine as a Lifestyle, Diet, & Practice

Mar 28, 2022
 

[00:01:20.850] Introduction to Margaret & her background

[00:04:27.430] Who's good enough to help us and where are we good enough for ourselves.

[00:06:15.990] What is femininity?

[00:08:20.190] Femininity and Yin

[00:11:45.970] Restorative moments

[00:16:31.610] Trust, intuition and feminine energy

[00:21:54.720] Paying attention to your experiences and trusting your intuition

[00:24:30.110] Principle of reciprocity 

[00:31:02.980] Opening receiving pathways and setting boundaries

[00:38:05.840] Thought pattern routines

[00:49:42.940] Connecting to your intuition

[00:55:26.230] Contact Margaret

www.getaltigen.com  

www.yincare.com 

www.yaocompany.com

 


 

HOW DO YOU GO FROM STAGE FRIGHT TO SPOTLIGHT & BEYOND CHANGING THE WORLD & CREATING A LEGENDARY LEGACY?

How do you fine tune your body to fine tune your voice to convey what you're you might not understand, but your heart does?

 

Welcome again to Embody Your Star. I am your host, Melanie Weller and today I have Margaret Jacobson with me -  an absolutely magical being that has a broad range of experience, from working in conventional medical settings and helping them integrate alternative complementary medicine, to having a Chinese medicine business of her own.  I'm going to welcome Margaret and let her introduce herself. Thank you for being here today.

 

Margaret Jacobsen

Thank you.  I have a Masters in Health Services Administration, and  I have worked in clinical research on studies with the National Institute of Health. I have worked integrating complementary and alternative medicine. I'm a mother of three. I think that's probably one of the biggest things.  I also run a Chinese medical practice, and we have an import part of our business as well. So it's Yaow company, Y.A.O - Yao company. It means Madison in Chinese & Yao Clinic, which is our foundational clinic, currently in Denver, Colorado although we will be moving to Lander, Wyoming. One of our main products that my spiritual husband  brought that product into the US, is a powerful vaginal wash, but it is also a topical wash for skincare conditions.

 

I also had a business I'm a trained well coach - an integrating coaching methodology that's associated with Harvard Medical School. So I did use that degree and had a divorce wellness coaching business called The Mother Rising. It's still online. I'm just going to mention it because if there is anyone that's going through that out there, all of those resources are still online for free. There's all kinds of little good gems there that you may be inclined to go take a look at. So feel free to check that out as well. But it does kind of dovetail into our product line,  in that the mother rising and kind of coming out of rising up into who you are and your own power is very much in alignment with taking good care of yourself in a very feminine way.



Melanie

I love how passionate you are and how you've really taken all of these different experiences in your life and really put them into this very feminine model or how you've really been able to use that experience from functioning in very masculine models, in terms of NIH and medical practices.



Margaret Jacobsen

Oh, God, don't get me started!!



Melanie

You really leveraged it for you to show up fully as yourself.  You're such a great role model  in terms of taking care of herself and really showing up fully and really seeking out ways to do that. So maybe we can say we were talking a little bit about the credentials and showing up and that weird relationship between who's good enough to help us and where are we good enough for ourselves.



Margaret Jacobsen

It's come to me in so many different forms and is something that all women go through. I'm sure all men go through it, too, as far as feeling like you're not good enough, not qualified enough. The most important thing that people understand is that I am on the ground. My feet are on the ground, and I am in the moment and I have a ton of gems of wisdom to share. That being said, you will possibly never find them in a book that I'm going to write this lifetime - it may or may not be in my path to do that. I'm a great writer, and I've toyed with a lot of different pieces of it, but it may not all come together in that way. So I think at different points in my life we are constantly battling for a masculine world.

 

 I think it's actually a good conversation to talk about what is femininity, because it is a conversation that gets brought up again and again and again nowadays, as far as being a feminist or not a feminist.  I would say one of the places where that kind of rang true for me was when I had my kids, I was also getting my master's degree.  So I would tend to want to define myself as a master's student or this or that, or define myself by my degree, because that's what I'd always been brought up with. 

My dad was always all about you can do whatever you want, and the sky is the limit, and there's nothing that can hold you back, which is great. But there was the definition of what you are supposed to be within that. And being a mom wasn't that. It wasn't. Yet, from the earliest age, that was the first thing I wanted was to be a mom.

I always wanted to be a mom. I thought I wanted to have five kids. I had three. I understand now that was plenty. It was very much a part of my being that I really wanted that.  I think you kind of basically hit that energetic wall with people and their views and your ability to trust yourself and love yourself within that.  So it's a whole process of understanding that you love yourself, that you define who you are and that you're not defined by these other things. That takes years and years and years. It's not something that people should be stifled by per se.

Melanie

Yes, it does take years and years. Definitely the gift of middle age, for sure. The menopausal time of your life, you certainly get stronger. And what other people think matters less and less because you really have learned so deeply who you are. So tell me how you define femininity and how you define Yin, because I know yin is a word that you really identify with and are very passionate about embodying.

 

Margaret Jacobsen

The English language is not a great way to communicate but given the constraints, I'll do my best. This is something that is represented in Chinese medicine, really classical Chinese medicine - and there are differences. Traditional Chinese medicine came out of making classical Chinese medicine available to the people post cultural revolution.

So it is a synthesized version of what was a very robust form of medicine. It can be reduced to acupuncture as just doing the technique. It can be massively more profound than that. It doesn't just include that. It includes your Chinese zodiac and astrology. It includes the branches of Feng Shui. It includes cupping and guasha and cooking - your whole life, it encompasses. But what we know Chinese medicine in the US as acupuncture.

In any case, we're talking about Yin.

Within Chinese medicine, my understanding and I'm not a practitioner,  is it's defined by different energy cycles which are reflective of the natural universe.

 

So if you're just thinking about nature and you think about the times of the year, A yin time of the year would be in the winter months. So it's receptive, it's restorative. It's ironic that we have a frenzied Christmas season in the middle of all of that, which is really important for us as women to remember that it's actually not a good thing.  It's my wish that maybe as much as I can't stand this  plandemic, this plandemic that we've been in over this past year. If we get anything out of that, if we got better sleep, and if we got more rest, and if we are more in touch with ourselves, that is an amazing thing.

 

Melanie

I agree. The disease of constantly distracting yourself or the disease of being busy is such a huge problem -  especially with women.

 

Margaret Jacobsen

So those restorative moments are super important has, this been a priority of mine over this last year.

I used to sacrifice sleep more.  I would allow myself if I really wanted to get a good workout in to just get six and a half hours of sleep or something like that. Then I would make up for it on the weekend. That worked for me.

But what works better for me is if I just get at least 7 hours consistently every day and then on the weekend, I only need one eight hour day & I am good. If I just commit to that no matter what,  it doesn't mean I get to bed at the same time every night because my life is crazy. But it does mean that I sleep in a little longer. Now I have that flexibility because I work from home and I just have a schedule that I can adjust to that. If for some reason I can't make that, then I will, of course, sacrifice my sleep a little bit. But I do allow myself to take a ten or 15 minutes nap during the day and I'm a good quick napper. So that's one piece of yin.

I would say it's also an ability to reflect,  really taking those moments. One of the mantras that I've always said to myself is acknowledging my chakras in a quickie little meditation.

'Bless me, God is for I'm your daughter. Bless my mind's eye, that I may see your truth, know your truth, and have access to your wisdom. Bless my throat that I may speak your truth. Speak clearly and eloquently. Speak in Your name and in your honor and withhold speech when necessary.' 

That is a Yin quality. Withhold your speech when necessary. 

You can be a good listener. What does it mean to pull back?  Right beneath your skin surface is all this incredible energy that we don't even give credit to. If you are quiet enough, you start to feel the pulsing of this that just allows for expansion of really who you are into the rest of the universe.

Which brings me to the work that you do Melanie; when there are blockages you have to address that and you have to be able to know.  So one of the things that happened that brought me to Melanie was that I was waking up every morning in pain and I just couldn't get it to go away. Well, I could get it to go away after hours of stretching which didn't fit into the rest of my life.  I was really sick and tired of it and I had heard Melanie on a podcast and she was talking about her practice and what she does, and I thought, 'oh, this could really probably work well'.



Melanie

I love how the bigger thread I feel like we're pulling through here is how we reduce everything. We have this very reductionist reflex that goes to make things way more simple and one dimensional. I didn't know that about classical Chinese medicine going into traditional Chinese medicine.

I love how the way you describe classical Chinese medicine and what I know about Chinese medicine in general, that it combines astrology and Feng Shui, that it's not just about the points in your body that are getting needled, perhaps in the moment.  I talk about it around the myth of ISIS and Osiris and how dismembered we all are. We are falling apart. We can't get it together. Our lives are shattered, our hearts are broken.  That's really a reflection of how we break up systems, that we don't talk about different aspects of our lives very cohesively.



Margaret Jacobsen

Exactly. This is what I love about your work, too. One, you have this incredible feminine energy- that Yin quality; really reflective, a space that people feel comfortable with coming into and allowing themselves to be real with themselves and actually I wanted to read what it allows you to do.  Megan is the the wife of a wellness coach called Bob Channon Moran,  he quoted her around Trust:

"Trust is the willingness to be vulnerable based on one's confidence in the other party's, benevolence, honesty, openness, reliability, and competence."

 

So trust is a big thing for all of us. Everything reduces down to allow the energy flow, to allow yourself to feel comfortable in your own power, right? You have to trust. You have to trust yourself. You have to trust your surroundings and everything. 

So this goes back to how you trust yourself, am I a good person? Am I honest with myself? Am I open with myself? Do I show up? Am I reliable? And am I competent? And over the years, I've been able to do that. Melanie allows a space for this, which is huge.   Melanie takes it to a place that's so feminine because we respond in stories as women, we are in community. We are in communication with each other. We love to have the chatting and the laughing and the being together, and those are all part of stories that we're creating in our lives.  So the stories are a way of unlocking a blockage by listening and hearing the story of how it fits in your body.

Melanie is incredibly intuitive. To listen to the story, it does help to release. It could be whatever life experience for me, it was a Cesarean section that I had  nearly 21 years ago, but it cut me off from my cervix for mostly feeling in my left side of my body, in my left leg and hip area, but all the pain was feeling in my right hip. Melanie's ability to just go in there and open these stories and then do subtle energy work is really profound. Sometimes you have to have that moment where you break down so that you go, okay, I am not everything I thought I was. I'm not all powerful. There is something to learn here and there can be these huge moments of learning in that. 



 Melanie

I think the magic is absolutely in the falling apart because I see it very much as like the shell falling off or the armor falls away and you discover a deeper level of who you really are and what's really there and a deeper purpose for yourself. We're all so programmed. I certainly have spent most of my 25 year career collecting letters after my name. And was still not satisfied. I still have the little voice that goes, you should have a PhD or you should do all these types of things.

I guess for me, the easy way to frame it is that I always thought my destiny was to be a highly credentialed physical therapist. My true destiny is to be a highly credentialed high priestess. Really showing up that intuition is such a feminine quality too that we talk ourselves out of an intuition is very much part of trusting yourself and attention.



Margaret Jacobsen

Exactly.



Melanie

Little signals under the skin in terms of what they are saying. And the universe just speaks in so many ways. If you pay attention, that gives so much meaning and richness and depth to life.



Margaret Jacobsen

Definitely, yeah. I would definitely agree with you that there's a lot of paying attention under the surface as you go through your experience and you learn to trust yourself and you therefore develop the intuition muscle, you start to really understand that you can tell when you're short of breath or tell when something in your body is just slightly off or you're just more aware of your emotions and how you respond to certain things. You get clarity. 

Another thing is being clear on your verbiage, how you express yourself in the world, being clear with your emotions is being honest with yourself is being honest about all of your emotions. So that's actually a really good tool. If there's one thing that people can take away from this is if you could just be more in touch with naming your emotions. If your daughter is having a complete blow up or a meltdown over something and it's unacceptable to you, if you're centered enough, you're able to not only name your emotion around that, like that just totally pissed me off and I'm angry and whatever.

But her emotion and how she's reacting to me is totally unacceptable too.  So you're able to be a better parent in that way also and call her out on it: 'no, you can't be like that'. That's really important because if we let those things go unchecked, they create so many imbalances, not just for ourselves, because we've taken their hits and we thought we were being such a good mom and so nice and whatever, but we allowed them to have authority over us when it's not their right. You see what I'm saying? It all goes back to energy and power.



Melanie

Yeah. It's kind of like, as you're describing it, it's sort of like the feminine version of wrestling, like bear Cubs.



Margaret Jacobsen

Yeah, totally. That is exactly what it is. I love it. That is so true. 



Melanie

In Native American traditions, they have this principle of reciprocity: you give to the Earth, the Earth gives back to you. When we get in a relationship where there's not reciprocity, where it's very dominant and where it ends up being very depleting. Teaching reciprocity is really important. My childhood consisted  a lot of me saying, 'I feel' fill in the blank. And my mom saying, 'no, that's not true'. I grew up questioning it was just safer not to have any emotions.  I was the master of suppressing my emotions, which made me a really awesome Navy wife, because I could tolerate that lifestyle very easily, because all the chaos was not emotionally disruptive to me, because I just had it all in the bottle.

Until I didn't.

As my kids grew up, I did my best in the moments to say, I can see you're angry. It's be angry to help them. It's not okay to break things, but it's okay to be angry.

When I really lost my temper with them. It wasn't ever about what they were doing. It was about what had happened to me when I was their age, or it was about those emotions that I had suppressed for such a long time that we're trying to remove themselves and learning to say,  I'm sorry I got really angry, or I'm sorry that I was so short tempered.



Margaret Jacobsen

That's interesting,  I want to jump in because that's beautiful. Being able to do that is beautiful. My experience growing up was as  an only child. But I had a neighbor family who had three kids, and the mom was like my second mom, and she was a role model for me. she would blow up sometimes because she had three kids and life was insane, her husband was crazy - in a good way. I saw that & I thought to myself, that's valid. Something in me knew that that was okay, too. And so I just want to make sure that people that are listening understand that as far as the reciprocity is concerned, I want to go back to the Native American within the context of being grateful and being reciprocal. It's all fun and games - what do you think the Native Americans did when the Earth wasn't providing for them in that area?

They left.

So they had the ability to move. So my point is, if an environment is not sustaining you, if you're not being fed by that, you have to recognize that too. It's not about sitting around there and just giving and giving and giving and giving and giving.

That's also part of Yin. You have to have the balance of Yin and Yang. And knowing how to do that dance is life's great gift, and it's awesome. I love it.

I'm referencing the situation that happened yesterday. My daughter is 16 and we have a very openly vocal, swearing situation - we don't normally swear at each other, but on occasion it happens. She just got real snarky with me for no reason because she wasn't controlling her emotions.  I knew it. I had taken off work and was driving her to her job and  I turned around and I said, 'F You'. She looked at me and she knew. She knew right away,  it was like, boom, that's what she needed to just snap back.  Then everything's fine again.

Everybody is going to have their own way of doing that, of snapping someone back. But I know that she knew that was unacceptable. I think it's really important as far as just approaching yourself in this quality of Yin and femininity, understanding that  you don't just take, take, take. You understand there's a quality of restfulness  that you get from being quiet. But there is a time when you have to, like, stand up and do things, too. You have to shift that energy and be who you are.  The next piece that I say in my meditation is, Bless my heart, let it be held high and shine bright for those who are worthy. So not just for everybody. Let it be shining bright and available for everyone who is worthy. But put some boundaries up there for those people who aren't.



Melanie

Oh, absolutely. I think the number of women I see that are hemorrhaging giving.

That's definitely a huge portion of my clientele or certainly a pattern I see very regularly. They're receiving pathways functionally are clogged or they're not there because the relationship of the giving and receiving is so disproportionate.

One of the first things that I check with everybody is, are you're receiving pathways open, because if they're not, you can't even receive my work or my work will not have the same impact that it will if you're receiving pathways are open.  I think that femininity is not even all feminine. We have that masculine piece, too, and that you get to have the boundaries and that sharing your heart is  giving somebody else a gift and that you don't have to give it to everybody.



Margaret Jacobsen

 It is totally okay if there's somebody that's inappropriate in the grocery store, that's just blabbering nonsense for you to turn your back. You don't need to have the conversations that you don't want to have. You don't have to. You're not obligated. Stop.

This is how I feel about having the cesarean section and anything that's a violation -I don't mean to say that every cesarean is a bad thing. In my situation it was meant as part of my karmic growth, and therefore I accept it. But it's also part of my Karma to tell everybody else, don't stand for that kind of abuse any longer. The cesarean section rate is out of control. Why are we going to get a PAP smear all the time? Why are you letting someone into your cervix constantly? The number of women that I talked to related to Yin care, our product, that have been violated because of a simple exam or are freaking out because someone gave them a diagnosis of cervical cancer that is actually at a level that we would consider a toxic heat condition, which is totally you can use our product with successfully, and it's a nothing situation.

Yet the other option is to go down the route of an invasive cancer procedure on your cervix, which is, like, the most Yin part, your grounding part. This is what roots you to the Earth. The cervix is the original root. It's where you actually have the umbilical cords and everything come out of here. Everything that is connected comes out of there. It is the thing that opens up to the world.

Stop it on the energetic level with these toxic conversations. I've listened to Carolyn Mace used to say, if we were that in touch with ourselves and our power and our thoughts, we'd never let ourselves leave. If we had to leave with clean thoughts and pure thoughts about everything and be in harmony, most of us would never be. We should be put in jail because we're not acting appropriately.

So freaking pull your crap together people. Start thinking about what you're thinking about when you make your food. As women, we are so in our bodies. I think that when you think about ways that you can go into meditation and different thought philosophies and different practices and such a sitting meditation is really appropriate. And I think men respond to that really well, and I think women respond to it acceptably well. But I think that women respond more to dance and to movement, to walking with friends and talking and processing and just doing like we are in our bodies. So that means that we have to take responsibility for everything that makes movement within that. So right when you're waking up, like, what are the thoughts that come into your think about the thought quality of your day.

Where is your brain that day? Is your brain balanced or not balanced?  Start paying attention to those things.



Melanie

I hear you.  I think that we are well practiced at feeling terrible and feeling anxious and feeling depressed, and we are not well practiced at feeling pleasure and feeling good.

 

Margaret Jacobsen

That's a good point.



Melanie

So in the way that thoughts really change your posture and we know your posture changes your hormones and that you get this huge physiologic response from your thoughts and your mood, the science of how thoughts become things is really becoming much more mainstream than it ever has.

 You need to practice good thoughts. And I think being really aware of,  where's that coming from? Is that even my thought? Where is that dropping into ?

One of my favorite approaches to that whole negative thought piece is Carolyn Elliot's existential kink process. She's basically kind of a reverse psychology approach. She says that we get what our subconscious wants, not what our conscious self wants. And that 'having' is evidence of 'wanting'. And that when you have something in your life that you don't consciously want, your subconscious is getting off on that. Is deriving enormous amounts of pleasure.

For example, if you're single and you want to be in partnership or if you want to make $10,000 a month or whatever, that thing that you're looking to make is,   by not having a partner and not having the income that you desire, your subconscious just thinks, that's delicious.



Margaret Jacobsen

Yes. That's interesting. I like that.



Melanie

And that you have to feel into, like, oh, isn't that interesting. We're also happy to take credit for the good things in our life that happen, but to think , oh, look what I created when it's a terrible thing, we tend to deflect responsibility for that such a good one.

So feeling into that desire, like, oh, I must really want this terrible situation, and that's kind of the pathway to getting out of it.



Margaret Jacobsen

Yeah, I love all of that. That's really interesting. I'm sure you're familiar with Abraham Hicks, right?

To me, that's like such abuse getting yourself out of the routine of your thought pattern. So, you want that $10,000 and your subconscious is getting off on not having it because you get a lot of things out of it. You get to be poor, you get to be a martyr.  You get to have all these different labels that are serving you in some way.

So first, acknowledging that, but then secondly going , okay, if I can't feel into $10,000, what if I felt into what I could get for $100? So maybe there's just something I can create. Maybe there's something I can sell on Craigslist or on ebay that's $100 and just send that message to myself that I made $100, even if it's not off your skills or whatever it is, because you created the situation where you're going to bring in some financial resources.

As you start to create that feedback loop then you're moving yourself in that other direction.  I used to say, catch yourself, trick yourself. So catch yourself and know what's going on, and then trick yourself into the other way of doing it.

 

Melanie

I love that and I love Abraham Hicks, she's so good at giving you momentum. I like to think of it often in terms of yes, and- which is the golden rule of improv comedy. Yes, I made $100, but I need more. And then it stops all the momentum.

Whereas when you go, yes, I have $100 and I can make more even if you go, yes, this sucks right now and it can get better, right?

You keep the momentum going in your thoughts. Oh, look, I'm having a terrible thought, and it's possible for me to have a better one. Even if you can't get there in the moment, you're at least acknowledging that there;s another place that you have the potential to get to, even if it's not exactly in that moment.



Margaret Jacobsen

Exactly, absolutely. I think also one of the things I love about Abraham Hicks is that just owning responsibility for everything. It's so great. And one thing that I developed isa  blame free zone. So my life is a blame free zone. If I ever sense that anyone is assessing blame on me or that I'm assessing blame on myself, it's a way for me to stop that madness. Stop. Because it's so part of our culture to say it's the fault of whatever, whatever.  Stop! How about just taking responsibility for your little part in that or whoever's little part that they took in it? That  goes for everything.

I had an incident with my mother-in-law to be,  she went off on something that was just nothing. There was no substance in it, but it was her feeling of inadequacy or whatever that was coming out in the moment. Now, granted, I do think it actually was alcohol induced at the time that this happened, but I just kept holding to the line like, no, you don't get to blame me. No, you don't get to blame me. No, you don't get to blame me.

To the point where I said, 'that's it. I'm leaving the room, you guys. Nobody else is sticking up for me. Forget it. I'm out of here. Have fun tonight'.  That's an extreme where I am really solid in myself now.  I know that not everybody can get there, but that's the place where you get and it's so great because you don't give away any of your power. It's a rare occasion when you do. 



Melanie

I love that. To really use what might be more the Yang energy to leave the situation.  You don't have to continue to be berated or to experience an uncomfortable situation. I like the way Dr. Valerie Rain phrases this - women play this game of how much can we bear? Whereas men play this game of how good can it get.

Using your voice that you can be receptive and listening, but it's very important to be heard, and you don't have to be the only person listening.



Margaret Jacobsen

But even if you just hear yourself, if you hear yourself say it, that's huge, because you can mentally go, I just stood up for myself, or I just turned my back on that person at the store, or I said one thing that I wouldn't have normally said. It's really big.



Melanie

So when you first started doing that, did it leave you a little shaky when you first.



Margaret Jacobsen

Yeah, definitely the first time, when you're building that muscle. Actually, this is what I would do when I would feel a stirring of having to assert myself. I would feel nervous energy and butterflies and whatever.  I was on the nutrition committee of the school, and there was something that they were saying and I was thinking, oh, no, I'm feeling it, it's got to come to the surface,  I can't not say something. I started to feel that, and I would say it. And I was heard. I got my point across. I was heard. I made it clear to people within that meeting. You're owning the floor, it's not an easy place to be. You're having to be with this community of people that maybe you don't even like, but you have to live with them because your kids are there. 

My dad used to say in business,  you don't always have to like people, Margaret. You just have to have a working relationship.

You have to be comfortable with having a working relationship with people and with yourself. Do I have a working relationship with my ability to just say I'm struggling.



Melanie

Most of the time it's about keeping the peace and keeping the happiness, and they're just sacrificing themselves for everybody else's peace, thinking that there's not another way.



Margaret Jacobsen

People always think that peace is the end goal. Why?

Why is peace the end goal? Why are we stuck on that? There is good, there is evil, there is Yin, there is yang. They're meant to dance with each other. You're meant to find your power here. You're meant to find who you are, and in that you have to find a voice. So therefore, you don't get peace. But actually, the funny part is you'll be more peaceful in the end. 



Melanie

The way that I often describe it to other people, just through my experience, was  in my relationship with my mother, it's been challenging for almost as long as  I can remember growing up.  I would say about maybe ten or twelve years ago, I had dinner with a group of friends, and one of them is very intuitive, and he sees auras.  He told me that my aura was purple. And I said, oh, well, what does that mean? He probably said lots of things, but what I heard was that he said royalty. So I heard, I'm the Queen!

In my own personal development, I was really able to the realization that came from that and really just envisioning myself in that way was that I'm the only person that can take off my Crown and that I get to wear my royal cape all fluffed out as far as it goes, and that I always have to dance with other people's energies, but I never have to shrink, that I get to take up the energetic space that I take up and that I don't have to be an energetic or emotional or spiritual contortionist in any situation that I get to be in my fullness, wherever that is.

My mother, not very long after that, called and we had a conversation where she pulled the rug out from underneath me as she was very skilled at doing. 

I was  almost 40 and she's still holding me to the standards that I'm not holding myself to. So I was rattled. I stood up to her in this conversation and I said if this is what we're going to talk about, we're not going to talk.

 I'll tell you, it was a conversation about how I don't send birthday cards to my nieces and nephews. I don't give them to my husband or children either. So it's really barking up the wrong tree for me to ask me to send a birthday card!

 

But I held the boundary with her.  It's not acceptable to berate me for this.

 

Afterwards, I straightened my Crown and fluffed up my Cape, and it was very soothing to my nervous system that had been really rattled in that I literally had my hands so great above my head straightening the Crown and my hands fluffing my royal cape.

Treating that metaphor, that really archetype of who you are, I think is really powerful when we get rattled. It's really to shake off this costume, this false identity that you've created in collaboration with the world, and you've allowed the world to tell you who you are versus you.



Margaret Jacobsen

You use your tarot cards, I believe, and I use a bunch of different decks of cards. And I actually use I use a pendulum, too. So pendulums are great for if you are having trouble at first connecting with your intuition, it's a great way to start to feel. Now. The pendulum doesn't always tell you what you want or the right thing or whatever. And so it's a matter of starting to clear up what you're meant to hear at that moment as well. Sometimes the pendulum will tell you something that doesn't turn out the right way or something like that.

I used it one time. We had a cat that we had lost at Yao, because we bring our cats to work, and we couldn't find Jinjin, which is my cat.  I said, is she on the first floor? We have three floors. Is she on the first floor? Is she on the second floor?

Is she on the third floor? Well, it said that she's on the second floor. It was the second floor of a shelving unit,  not the second floor of the building! You have to be either specific. 

I was really upset that I got it wrong because she wasn't upstairs, then I realized these things are tools to create that muscle for intuition and for trusting yourself is my point. All of those things lead to you having a better voice and to allowing the Yin channels to stay open.



Melanie

 I often will teach people to be the pendulum themselves. But a good answer is all in a good question. And your intuition is never wrong. I would like to say it's always right, it's just not always specific. That's a great example of that.  

Certainly a big part of my journey has been learning just to let my intuition flow.  I get reminded of that repeatedly. Right now, there's four planets and PISCES, and my mediumship abilities  have been coming back to my attention and been useful. I've used them more in the last couple of weeks than I have in a while. And that's not a piece of myself that I don't advertise that I have that ability. 

It's the same muscle that I use energetically, I realize that.   I have a group of mediums that I sometimes drop in just to keep that muscle active.  What I've learned that even when I don't go for a while and I drop in and I don't do platform mediumship, I've really never done that or only when I've gone to a class.



Margaret Jacobsen

What would be platform mediumship?




 Melanie

So platform mediumship is when you're on stage in front of a group of people and you say, okay, I have someone here and you keep describing them and you narrow down the audience who that person is related to.

 I can go into that class and rock a platform mediumship, even though that's not what I do. So I've realized that my energy medicine muscle is really kind of the same thing. I know that my Vedic astrologer, when I sat down for my first reading with her, asked; Melanie, do you hoard occult information? And I just busted up laughing. 



Margaret Jacobsen

My God, that's so funny. And I know you do.



Melanie

But I think that's also part of my relationship with having struggled with my weight for my life,  it's like moving that intuition.



Margaret Jacobsen

Is it's so funny.  I never would have thought in my life that you didn't feel like you had a voice, that you had struggled with your weight. You know what I mean? Just as you probably saw me as like someone unbroken! There were times when there's Kleenex in every corner because I couldn't stop crying.



Melanie

Well, we are all very strange, curious creatures and very slow learners. No matter how evolved somebody is, we are all slow learners in this. And to really have the self compassion for that is super important. To figure things out in lightning bolt moments is really hard, too. That's not something that I would wish upon everybody. I've had that myself, both not only in the tragic way, but in the best possible way. And getting the Genie fully extracted from the bottle in one swoop is not really as awesome as it sounds.

Well, Margaret, tell me how people can get in touch with you and to learn more about what you're doing and how they might be able to get some support.

 

Margaret Jacobsen

Yin care right now will be sold direct to the public on www.yincare.com 

 

And I will be more of a voice presence there as that whole website opens up. And we will have some podcasts and everything like that. And it's going to be amazing. I'm really looking forward to having that as a vehicle. If you happen to be a practitioner and are interested in the product, we do sell direct to practitioners. We very much support our network of practitioners. And that is www.yaocompany.com 

 

www.getaltigen.com   is our high altitude sickness remedy. So if you happen to be going on a big adventure to push yourself or if you have trouble with jet lag or air travel and that type of thing.



Melanie

Great. And I'll put all those links in the show notes, and I just want to finish with kind of circle back to where we started because you gave a very beautiful example, about showing up fully barefoot. I've talked on other podcasts about how the magic isn't really fully showing up, like, not just with your credentials and your experience, but with your intuition and your wisdom and your magic. And I would just love for you to kind of recap how you described yourself in that way.

 

Margaret Jacobsen

Yeah, I would just say that again, it goes back to not being defined by the boundaries of what other people. And I'm asking all of you listeners to look at what you define as a qualified person. Would your take on who I am and what I have to offer be different if I graduated from Yale and I had a PhD and I had a top selling book and a course that I was offering, which I'm not. That's the point. That's what I want you to think about is. I'm in the trenches. I'm the real deal. I live this stuff. I'm here to tell you what that's about while I'm still going through it. So, yeah, I show up every day. I wake up every morning and I freaking kick booty doing what I do, which is just being me. And it's the best. And I want it again tomorrow. I want it again in the next breath. You know what I mean? Like, life is amazing. And one quick other thing you mentioned about how we don't experience joy or don't allow ourselves to experience joy or pleasure, or we're resistant to it in some way.

 I just want to say, take that, sit on that. If you have reduced yourself to eating an avocado because an avocado is high in antioxidants, in our Western kind of mentality, in our diet and everything, we reduce, reproduce, reduce to a chemical or a biochemical behavior or reaction. What happens when you add a little bit of honey and a little bit of salt to that avocado? Bam! That is amazing.

Now you've done something to an avocado that makes it. And so how do you think your body responds to that? So find the pleasure in everything, in your thought processes, in somebody's smile. If you're driving down the road and you've been looking down all day, look up, just shift, shift, shift constantly. If you've been driving the same way to work, find a new way to work. So that's what I would say. Be in the trenches, have your feet on the ground and just do it.



Melanie

Such incredible wisdom. Margaret, thank you for sharing. Margaret and I have been talking about ways to collaborate and so I'm going to circle back with her after this in terms of how the cervix is the original route because the Vagus nerve inervates the cervix and so I think that that's an interesting jumping off point for maybe another conversation.

 

Margaret Jacobsen

Thank you so much for having me Melanie, it was really great.

 

There's lots more to discuss about chinese medicine as a lifestyle & practice!  I'm looking forward to bringing more episodes of Embody Your Star to you.

 

 

See you next time.

www.melanieweller.com

 


 

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